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I count the amount of time we’ve been together.

Still half the time you were with her.

I think about how far we’ve come, how well we know each other, how much we love each other, how much I believe in our future. But it’s still only half of what you had with her.

Did you know that your mom still slips her into conversation? Recounts the sordid details that you won’t talk about, all that drama, and how much there was of it. Enough for a lifetime love affair.

She’ll say things like, “what a girl that was, but…

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The cruelty of the joke knocks the breath from my body.

It is only when I realize it is a joke that I feel my body has clenched, my heart is fluttering. The relief of the lie is dizzying and I laugh, until I remember that only half of it was a joke. The other half is real, and my throat constricts. The fear and relief and confusion is too much, I am moments from tears, but it is still light out, we have to pay the check, there is a birthday party in the booth over.

I remember that…

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I liked to imagine you young, but I didn’t realize it was true until I got there.

Now that I’m that age, I know how young it feels.

One day you let it slip — “last night in bed he and I were talking and…”

One morning I walked in and you were wearing his shirt, sleeves rolled a dozen times, your slim frame engulfed by the size of him.

Emboldened allusions to intimacy that slipped casually between your handwriting and laughter and perfume.

I wonder if it felt the same as when I wore his shirt to the office…

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If we ever are to part, know that I am not angry.

Ok, I might be in the moment. I might feel furious, betrayed, sad, numb, lost, bitter, cheated.

I might feel those things, but I’ll try not to say them. I’ll try not to hurl hatred at you if there is ever an end. Please forgive me if I do.

And I promise it will pass.

I will not look back bitterly.

I cannot, when we have shared so much. So much joy, laughter, intimacy, uncertainty, life.

You have opened my world, expanded my mind, touched my soul.


It isn’t a light shower, it’s a summer storm. Sheets of water are coming down around me, and I watch people pulling their shirts over their heads and scrambling to overhangs.

I walk on slowly — not in a hurry, but with purpose.

It’s the summer of 2016 and I am playing for an Ultimate Frisbee team called Chicago Dish. …

As a kid, I used to sleep over my grandparents’ house pretty frequently.

My grandpa made a much bigger deal out of breakfast than my parents did. At home, we I had light breakfasts that I would make myself. Bread and butter, graham crackers and tea. But my grandpa made a production out of breakfast.

I’d wake up to the smell of bacon sizzling in a pan. When my brothers and I went downstairs, the table was brimming with different dishes. One section of the table would be taken up with an array of cereals and juices. He’d buy 12…

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World War II was a time of great destruction, but also a time of remarkable ingenuity and progress.

The problems that faced the world were large, but people came up with innovative ways to combat them. During this time, things like synthetic rubber and oil, pressurized cabins, radar, and penicillin were invented to assist with the war efforts.

People did not shy away from the incredible problems of the time. Instead, they rose to the occasion.

We are not at war with another country, but we are at war against an invisible, deadly threat. Every day, lives are lost and resources are depleted.

As the majority of Americans are working from home, you might have a feeling of…

Read and Write More With These Three Tips

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In the second season of Gilmore Girls, Rory has a bit of an existential crisis.

Faced with the Harvard Library’s 13 million volume collection of books, she considers herself a failure.

“13 million volumes? I’ve read like, what, 300 books in my entire life and I’m already 16! Do you know how long it’d take me to read 13 million books? I sleep too much. I’ve been frittering away my whole life.”

As Rory demonstrates, the sheer magnitude of books out there can be overwhelming. Many people don’t know where to start, and as a result, they never get started…

Keep calm and make awesome food.

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On Saturday, my boyfriend’s mom sent us to the store to stock up on nonperishables for his grandmother.

While I believe that it is important not to panic over the coronavirus outbreak, I do think that preparation can’t hurt, especially for the elderly.

I hope that shopping for a month or two’s worth of food is not something that we need to resort to here in America, but it could become a possibility. Towns in Italy and Asia have already been put on lockdown due to the coronavirus, and the virus is not slowing down yet.

But instead of worrying…

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A few years ago, I was driving with my dad to New Hampshire.

I confided in him that I noticed in myself nervous and paranoid tendencies than my grandma has.

My grandma has always been anxious, and her mind could quickly go from “normal event” to “absolute catastrophe.”

When I was in high school, I told her that I was heading out to dinner with a friend and that my brother was home swimming in our pool with some of his friends.

“You can’t leave him, Jen!” She suddenly cried.

“If you leave him he could slip and fall and…

Jen Sanfilippo

Writing about the ideas I get stuck on 📝

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